Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Last year at this time...

I've been doing a lot of "One year ago today..." thinking lately.  It's just amazing to me to think about how much has changed in one year and my thoughts and emotions from last year compared to this year.

The last week of January we have a big project every year at work and my department (2 other people) and I spend a few full days in a big conference room working on this project.  Well I remember so clearly that last year during that week I was so upset because I once again found out that we weren't pregnant.  I had put a call into my doctor.  While we were in the room working, my phone rang and I hurried out trying to find a private place to talk to the nurse. I told her that I needed to come see the doctor so that we could make a plan because I just couldn't keep going with this infertility stuff month to month.  She told me that my doctor wanted me to stick to what I was using for just one more month and after that they would send me to a fertility specialist.  Just one more month was all it took!  Sitting in that room this year working on our project really made me think about how God's plan is bigger than ours.  This year instead of sitting in that room near tears and losing hope, I was sitting in that room having given birth to a precious baby who I love more than I could have ever imagined! Just one year ago...

Last year on Valentine's Day Jonathan made a special day of it and took me out to lunch at a bookstore cafe and then out to a romantic dinner.  This year on Valentine's day I was looking back to the pictures I took last year on my phone.  I so remember the pain that I had deep down.  Will I ever be a mom? Why is this so hard for us? (Those pictures also reminded me how skinny I was a year ago before baby weight took over my body! {although I would have never called myself skinny...now I know that I was compared to what I am now!})  I remember having a wonderful date and a wonderful day spent with the love of my life but I remember the hurt.  This year on Valentine's day, Jonathan still made the day special and we went on a date the weekend before (when we had childcare) and then had a fun non-romantic Valentine's day. 

Last year when I ran the Shamrock Shuffle (post from this year's race to come) I was having serious morning sickness but we hadn't told our friends yet that we were pregnant so I was hiding my prego-pops that I was sucking on after the race.  This year Jonathan stood at the finish line with a precious baby girl in a stroller.

I looked back in my post archive and found this post that I wrote March 12, 2010 (and although I hadn't posted yet, during this CRAZY time, I had just found out I was pregnant prior to leaving for our trip that I mentioned!):
My CRAZY week!
Hello world! It's been many a day since I have even logged into Blogger! If you know me well, you know that there is something wrong with that! Even if I don't write a blog every day, I always read the blogs in my dashboard...that is, until this week. I feel like I've been through an emotional and physical rollercoaster ride in the middle of a tornado. Like the visual?
If you all remember in my last post we were in Texas for "vacation" and found out that our house had sold with being on the market for less than 3 weeks. We were floored and then scared! We expected a few months to get ready for this type of change. As soon as the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac we were off on a crazy whirlwind of an adventure to find a house in order to not end up homeless! (Of course our wonderful friends offered up for us to stay with them, but it's always better to only have to move once!) We searched everything we could find online and came up with some houses we wanted to walk through. We ended up walking through houses Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights until 9:30 to 10:00. Needless to say we were so exhausted each night mentally that we went straight to bed when we got home!
Do you know how sometimes God asks you to trust him and you feel like you're being stretched beyond? But you know there is a reason and that God has a plan? Well I kind of felt like that. (I feel like I've felt like that a lot in this past year...) We just couldn't find the right house for us in the end of town that we wanted to live. And I was getting a bit emotional about it. I usually like to think I have a level head in most circumstances, but this was just too much!
After many prayers we put an offer in on a house and after a couple negotiations back and forth, they eventually accepted our offer! YAY!!! We found out last night and it was such an amazing feeling. We offered what we had agreed would be the most we would spend, which was quite a bit lower than their asking price, so we thought they would give us an immediate NO WAY(!!), but after 3 or so hours we got a call that they had accepted! God is so good! This house is perfect for us and I'm thrilled! The owners go to our church and so do the next door neighbors, although since it's such a large church, I don't know either couple. Everyone here at work that knows them, says that they are both wonderful couples! I'm so excited to have nice neighbors!! :) That makes a big difference in a neighborhood!
I know I reminisce a lot on here, but I can't help but look back on last year at this time, when Jonathan was working at a temp job, I hated my job and we were scraping by. There would have been no way that we would have believed that we would be moving to a beautiful new house (with a basement! for some reason most houses here don't have basements) in just a year! God has been so good to us. I feel like we've been through some serious growth in this past week learning to trust. Isn't it funny that learning to trust is such an on-going thing?
I'm sure life will be crazy over these next 3 weeks due to packing and moving, but hopefully I can get some time to relax and catch up on my blog reading! I feel so "out of the loop" not knowing what all my blog friends are up to! :)

{photo courtesy of Jes Meeker Photo}
This is why I love blogging.  Last year I looked back on 2009 and this year I'm looking back at what I wrote in 2010.  I love that I can easily be reminded where I was and see where God has brought us.


Crystal said...

I love this post! Brought tears to my eyes!

Lindsy said...

Good post! It's always humbling to look back and see God's handiwork ~ awesome you've been able to do that and share about it.