Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Year Ago Today...

Today is a momentous day.  I will always remember March 24th for the miracle that God worked.  If you have been reading my blog or know me, then you know what I'm referring to.  Last year I went into my OB's office for a routine ultrasound for a D&C.  This day one year ago was the day that I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time.  It was the most amazing sound I had ever heard. Even now, thinking about it makes me cry.  It's amazing to think that I am now listening to her giggle and "talk".  It was an absolute miracle.  I'm so thankful to God for sparing my sweet baby.  And I'm also thankful that God gave Jonathan the wisdom to have us wait a week to do the D&C and not go ahead and have it the week before (as my Dr. had suggested so that I could get over the miscarriage and start another round of fertility drugs as soon as possible).

March 24, 2010 I wrote this post :
I don't even know where to start! Today Jonathan and I had a routine ultrasound before the D&C on Friday. We had come to terms with the miscarriage and weren't expecting anything other than to hear the details for the "procedure" on Friday. Well, the ultrasound tech asked if I was bleeding or cramping and I said no that the only thing that had been wrong with me was some serious nausea. She said that was a good sign and I thought that was weird... a good sign for what? We already know there is no baby and that the nausea was from the high levels of hormones from the drugs I was on. The Doctor told me last week to let others know about the miscarriage because there was less than a 1% chance they would find something this week. She wanted us to have a support system in our grieving.
WELL... The ultrasound tech (who was playing K-Love and I found out goes to my church!) said that she could see the heart beating!!! WHA??? HEART? THERE'S A BABY?? Oh my goodness! We couldn't believe it, but we were watching it with our own eyes! We could see the baby and see the little heart pounding and hear the heartbeat. God is good, isn't he? She said that "things sometimes can't be explained." My Doctor came in and was flabbergasted. She didn't seem to know what to say at all. She apologized for telling us to tell people and for not being optimistic last week. But we assured her that we saw the empty sac too. So they are changing my due date to November 9th (which ironically was the day that baby Eli was due). They said that the baby is measuring 7 weeks and 1 day, where last week from their count of my cycle I was 7 weeks. They said this could be why there was no heartbeat last week because it was too early. But it still does not explain why there was no baby last week! Nothing that the Dr., tech, or we could see at all! We should have seen a blob of something like the first ultrasound I had.
God is awesome! He has absolutely answered prayers in miraculous ways! We of course would have announced our pregnancy a little further on (after 12 weeks) in a more fun way, but we will take this! So here it is.... WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!! I am trying to be cautious until after the 12 week mark just because I know what a heart-break it is to "lose" a baby even if it was only for a week.

Thank you again for all your kind words of encouragement and prayers. We love you all and are so excited for you all to walk down this new road with us!
Wow.  What can I say? It's so awesome to be in the "future" and look back to what I was feeling and the emotions that were running through my body.  I never want to take my sweet baby girl for granted.  She is an absolute miracle.

This is part of my story and I need to remember that God allowed this story to be mine for a reason.  I don't ever want to forget the grace and power of God.  I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, left home to go to a Christian college.  I didn't have much of a "story".  My life was pretty easy...nothing bad had ever really happened to me to cause me to completely rely on God.  I think sometimes through the roughest patches and the deepest heartache is when God is able to reveal Himself because we have to solely rely on Him to get us through.  Jonathan and I have had a lot of trusting in God time in our marriage (not with our marriage) and this was one of those times.  Every baby is a miracle from God, but Adalyn is a special miracle and I will never forget God's faithfulness to us.